| god bless the broken road that led me straight to you......... |
[May. 25th, 2005|10:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | heaven is a place on earth | ] |
wow havent updated in here in what seems like forever. but im in a crap mood tonite n have no one else to whom i belive would 1) understand me tonite and 2) actually want to listen to me tonite. got home from work and my mom was watching american idol and carrie underwood or w/e was singing god bless the broken road with rascal flatts. which always gets me. i will say this for those of you who do not know me well....i am very emotional over sappy stuff. like when carrie underwood sings god bless the broken road. it made me sad. like im still sad now. and it made me realizes the lonelyness i feel. if you dont want to hear n e more of my whiny bullshit please stop reading now cuz its only going to get worse. ok so continuing because my heart feels really heavy right now. i mean yes its fun to be alone, i guess freedom is what those opptomistic people call it. but it is just that you are alone. u have your friends yes. but they dont provide the cuddles when you watch a movie together, they dont provide tickle fights (well im sure they could but that would be kinda weird), just so many experiences and wonderful moments that i dont have. i know ill get over this soon, and ill go back to not worrying about it, because in the end i believe that whats meant to be WILL be. i cant change anyones minds about me, i cant force anything to happen, the most i can do is just to be myself. but its hard expecially when you feel just lonely as i do now. so many just i dunno bullshit stuff. like how i sometimes feel like whats wrong with me, is who i am not enough, even though i know it really doesnt matter who doesnt like me wat matters is the people who do, i kno that, its nice in theory yes. but ur actual feelings are not affected by theorys and catchy sayings. they are real feelings. loss gain sadness joy you cant control them they just happen. i think i feel overwhelmed right now. so i am going to make a to do list for myself. and everything doesnt have to happen its just nice to make a to do list and organize all your thoughts and what you feel needs to be done.
to do list:
- study for precalc test tommarow which i bet im going to fail
- get a good amount of sleep tonite
- go to work tommarow
-figure out why they like cut your hours in half!!
- find a guy WORTH getting to fucking know ( oh man i could write a whole book on how there are so many guys i go for that are not even worth my fucking time, all in all im stupid).
- go see monster in law
- have a weekend in sometime
- go to sum concerts this weekend tho
-warm up my hands.
ok thats all for my to do list because well im cold. n plus that list could get really long.
well this whole entry got really long. damn im a fool.
goodnight everyone
~~jizzoulie~~ |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 8th, 2005|07:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hurting | ] |
| [ | music |
| | radio | ] |
ouchies havent updated this thing in like forever.....well ive got me an ear infection. it sucks sooo bad. it hurts like heck. owwww!! i get jolts of pain. the doc gave me this tyelnol with codeine for me and it helps big time but when it wears off it kills like all heck. like i get jolts and jolts of pain in the whole left side of my face its mostly my ear and u can see when im getting em cuz like my whole face winces lol its crazy i hate this. i dunno if ive ever experienced this much pain while being sick. like my tattoo hurt less then this did. fuck it! ahh yay got my chekcy check tho but ahh so much stuff to do so ima go get stuff to make a cake for me mommy n then to store to buy some book so im out i guess....bye yo
jizzoulie |
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| :) |
[Apr. 17th, 2005|12:32 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | tear myself open, sewn myself shut, | ] |
hawthorne heights and sum 41 and unwritten law........bitches!
it was amazing. i know ima loser but i love them. this is numero 4 time seeing hh in concert. and i never ever regret going once. they always make me want to just go everyday to it. but yeah had an awesome time with hoie and talked to micah and jt. couldnt find the others. i was real upset tho cuz i wanted the last 2 signatures for my shirt. cuz its only got micah jt and matt, i want casey and eron to sign it. but i didnt see them after this one and at the one at house of blues. oh well it was a killer time!!! my birthdays 25th and im thinkin ima request friday off cuz we got berea relays and have maybe i dunno cuz i dunno wat else to do, a campfire at my dads house, but i dunno if hell let me, and besides as stated above what would we do? oh snap son i duno. AHHHHHHHHH FIGURED OUT WHAT I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY FROM MY MOM!!!
AHHHH
THIS IS AN AMAZING IDEA!!
A TATTOO!!
ahh i want one on my lower back....now just gotta think of what i want it of. gosh i hope my mom lets me! i want one really really bad! i want stars i kno that, and i want it to say something. i know i want stars with like a banner over what i get written. i dunno i havta ask yet, and i gotta think about what i want it to say, but gosh i want one soo bad. ok well leave me any comments about if you have any ideas of what i should get done. and please dont leave stupid ones cuz im really serious bout thinin this over man.
ok well ima get to bed me n samalama b goin to 1130 mass. |
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| my birthday :/ |
[Apr. 12th, 2005|08:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  fat | ] |
| [ | music |
| | black eyed peas- dont mess with the homies?? i dunno lol | ] |
ahh im really excited my birthdays coming up but im kinda i dunno sad/ scared for it. im not having a party this year ive decided this 1) where would it b at? my mom said no for her house 2) i dont have time right now to organize it 3) i dunno what we would do. i dunno i really want to have one tho. urgghhhh everyone so u kno my birthday is monday april 25th and im requesting saturday ;the 30th off from work, cuz i plan on finding something to do and celebrating my birthday with my friends on that day. so i dunno . gersh its my 17th too. im real sad cuz i dunno wats going on for it. i mean i dunno i want to hang out with bunch of people its just i have like NO time to organize it. ahhhh this sucks. this has really been bothering me. so if u wanna be my bestest friend for ever you so should throw me a surprise party :). just kidding i dont really care lol. oh well man :( life sucks right now. ive got soooo much homework to do and am operating on soooooo little sleep. but the only thing keeping me going is right now friday me n hoie goin to hawthorne heights and sum 41 fo sho fo sho!! woot woot my tickets sitting upstairs lol ehehhe. n natalie asked me if i wanted to go to that youth roundtable sleepover with her i was like HECK YES MAN! lol wat else does a loser have to do on a saturday night huh!??? lol heheh aight im out oh hey tommarow after our track meet anyone wanna go watch the boys volleyball game with me???? it will be fun! cuz a fun kid like me will prolly be real slap happy cuz im not gunna get too much sleep tonite either gotta write up my chem thing. aight piece out to the homies!!
ahahaha i learned a new ghetto word ok here it is: you know how people say for real ok here it goes,
"on the level lo"
hahahahhahahahahhaha
bye all
~~jizzoulie~~ |
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| :) |
[Mar. 27th, 2005|04:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sun headache | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ashlee simpson show | ] |
so im in florida right now. at my grandparents house in punta gorda. went to church at their church sum hot floridians there. then came back and chilled at the pool all day. tanned n what not. or atleast tried. it was real windy and like sunny n hott i was sweating like crazy. but it was all good. u can tell my arms have some sun. but now i have a headache from sitting in the sun all day. but were gunna be leaving in a few minutes, to go to miami, n stay in a hotel till tommarow were a shuttel is taking us to the port around 2ish the boarding time, n there letting us keep the car there for the week for free. so hecks yeah! but yeah comin back on friday then back to g-parents till like saturday night i think i dunno but sat day i will be on probably hopefully so PLEASE LEAVE ME A GOOD COMMENT! i was just thinking about today how i never even asked lainey or shannon bout ashlee simpson! so if u gurls see this comment n tell me about it or just tell me when i get back. that was bothering me all day i dunno why. but im out gotta go get my stuff outta the bathroom to make sure it gets on the cruise. bye all! leave one please!
~~jizzoulie~~ |
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| :) |
[Mar. 25th, 2005|05:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
| [ | music |
| | mom yelling at me | ] |
hi guys...
when u all read this i will probably be somewhere near florida if not in it, friday-sunday we will be driving to florida. sunday we will be at my g-parents house visiting thru monday, monday we leave real early in morning to get to miami by like 2 i think is boarding time but i think were getting there earlier just to be safe.
i have a cell phone now. the number is 288-5497. u can reach me anytime cuz its virgin and does not cost long distance cuz no matter what all calls are still 25cents. so gimme a ringer. or send me a text doesnt matter u can reach me throughout this time, im not sure on the cruise though i dont think it gets signals out there. so the cruise is from monday to friday so i dunno bout tryin then im not to sure if itll take it or not, on key west im sure it will though, thats on thursday. so please call or text me and say hello.
im going to try and get on a computer if i can. so ill update this when possible other than that, feel free to leave me an email, or comments or what not. im going to miss you all. but im real nervous cuz im hoping i make new friends on the cruise as well. hopefully a hott guy :)
but yeah just wanted to update to spread the info. im going to see mrs. congeniality 2 tonite with shan hoe and lainesters then comin home finishin up my packing and sleep and then getting on the rode tonite. so :/ pray that all goes well while we drive down. no accidents please! but yeah, i dunno im so pissed that jim is coming. different story though. gosh im so sick of kelly and doug i could right about shoot myself. i swear they better so not as look my way on that cruise. i cant stand them. they are driving me crazy. my mom hid the easter baskets already n of course the kids found them n were going thru them even tho i told them not too...but who the hell listens to me right? but yeah so then kelly went thru hers then went thru mine after i told her not to and goes , "ugh u got more then i did" LIKE WTF YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT SHIT JUST CUZ UR A SPOILED BRAT! N THINK YOU CAN GET WHATEVER YOU WANT! gosh i swear ima go off on them one of these days! n i cant stand my mom. god i cant wait to go to college and get out of this house. all of you try to talk to me about staying in state and the advantages of it. GOD I CAN NOT STAND THIS FAMILY i swear ima like shoot myself.... gosh they just make me wanna cry. my moms yelling at me right now. i dont care any more.
alright ima go do some stuff....bye everyone...
~~jizzoulie~~ |
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| this is going to be a rant so if you dont care...dont read |
[Mar. 17th, 2005|09:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | pissed off | ] |
| [ | music |
| | gone baby gone- down tonite | ] |
ok this is a rant on my mom so if you dont want to hear it then simply dont read it but i am sooo fucking pissed right now
ok so ya kno what. right now i hate my mom. n i dont want to hear shit from any of you about this because none of you live my life and know what i go through and have been through with my mom so i dont want to hear anything negative or anything like oohhh your lucky you have your mom blah blah blah yes i am lucky i have a mom but yet i am unlucky by what my mom does to me. so ill just vent about today because i dont want to dig up anything else right now. i woke up this morning and went downstairs there was breakfast alreayd on the table.
mom: sit there.
me: ok yay who made breakfast
doug: i did
me (eating quietly i just woke up so not to much awakeness in me)
doug: could you please chew with your mouth closed
me: i am
doug: could you please not slurp your juice
me: im not
mom: Julie stop fighting with doug
doug: could you please cover your mouth when you cough
me: I FREAKING DID WHAT THE HECK, hey doug would you please go take a shower, hey doug why dont you go cut your nails. stop freaking attacking me this early in the morning!!!!
doug: shut up your an idiot and you had your hand over your mouth but then you made a disgusting sound
me: what do you want me to say sorry for coughing cuz thats stu.
mom: JULIE DO YOU WANT TO BE GROUNDED
me: for what!!!!
mom: stop fighting with your brother!
me: HE IS STARTING IT!
mom: no hes not you keep talking
me: MOM DO YOU NOT HEAR HIM KEEP TALKING TO ME EVEN THO I DONT SAY ANYTHING TO HIM.
(which sidenote i didnt by the time he said that thing about me coughin i had walked up to the bathroom and was straightening my hair.)
mom: ya know julie your just ruining everyones morning
me: whatever *slammed door*
then she comes home like around 9ish and hasnt really said n e thing to me cuz ive been at work and when i got home she wasnt here so she hasnt said like anything ot me all day
mom: wheres my pin
me: in my car but im typing up a big project
mom: go get it
me: but im doing this project first
mom: it will just take a minute
me: wait a little bit
mom: no go get it now or do you want to get off the computer for the rest of the night
me: fine whatever. (so i go and get it and bring it in and toss it on the table)
mom: dont you dare throw that around like that
me: i didnt, whatever mom
mom: dont you dare talk to me like that you want me to turn off that computer
me: but im typing up something for school
mom: i dont care i will
me: obviously you dont
mom: YOUR GROUNDED YOUNG LADY DONT MAKE PLANS TO DO ANYTHING TOMMAROW NIGHT!
me: for what!
mom: your attitude
me: I DONT HAVE AN ATTITUDE MOM
mom: yes you do!
me: where are you going
mom: out,
me: to party ?
mom: as a matter of fact yes, not like its any of your business.
me: whatever
mom: keep it up young lady and youll be grounded this whole week.
yeah thats all thats been said between me and my mom. nothing else. how grand aint it. shes a swell bitch!!!! i am so fucking pissed off with her! she has 3 kids all under the age of 18 and shes going out at 930 at night and partying? yeah w/e sehs gunna come home all drunk around 1 in the morning. i swear shes more of a fucking teenager then i am. yet she tries to control every aspect of my life while not letting me in on a fucking clue on hers! and i mean sometimes its nice, but seriously shes more of a teenager then i am. shes goes out every weekend with her friends, and whenever the kids aint here, she goes out all night and comes back the next morning. last sat. for example i woke up to her gone. and came home the night before with no one home. i mean yes ups, but i dont think any of you understand the downs to this. i dunno i could tell you all a story of a new years eve i will never forget but i dont want you all to judge my mom because she is a good person and she can be nice and what not and a great mom. its just GRRR.........she wants to be young again while growing older and being a single mom to 3 kids, 2 of which are still that...kids. just oh man. ok well this is enough venting for right now... im just scared for the cruise because i know its going to be even worse then this, its going to be her partying and us kids fending for ourselves. oh well ima have a lot of fun.....hopefully.....and hopefully michelle comes and not gay ass jim! geez cant stand that man! but yeah im outtie yo OH MAN ITS 1010. make a wish. well ima go get ready for bed because i am feeling tired and drained! saturday is shannons birthday party tho yay im excited for that! ok well piece out homies
julie |
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| i dont wanna b like cinderella..... |
[Mar. 13th, 2005|11:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  geeky | ] |
| [ | music |
| | cheetah girls upstairs! | ] |
hahaha so my subject is a cheetah girl song...and guess what! IM WATCHING CHEETAH GIRLS! lol ahahha good movie good movie.! woop woop so happy. so happy! so heres a run down of this upcoming week. just for reminders purposes and hopefully you cool cat ones will be able to pick out what im really excited about this week and believe me theres something for everyday, well at least monday and tuesday and saturday!.
monday: 9:30 is school time, track, off of work, me and james are going disc throwing (throwing his rap cd's out the car window). :) then to beddy bye bye and homewizzle nizzle!
tuesday: 9:30 school time, track, off of work, GOING TO A CAV'S GAME MAYBE WITH SHAN HOE! hopefully cuz i love cav's games and i kno she does, and omg that would rock my world yo!
wensday: 9:30 schooling time, track, off of work....no planes for today :(
thursday: 9:30 school tizzime, track, work 4-7, homewizzle! woop woop not :(
friday: 9:30 schooling time, track, work 4-8, anyone wanna hang out after work? yo!
sat: SHAN HOES B DAY PARTAY! off of work! woopey woop woop! hahah ima partay it down yo!
sun: important staff meeting (HA!) 10-11, then free rest o day yo!
only other thing worth importance is....
SPRING BREAK = JULIE ON A CRUISE! yeah yuh! WHATTTT! OKAYY!! lol hahaha lil jon meet your competition! but yeah im out ima go finish watching cheetah girls
piece needy ones!
~~jizzoulie~~ |
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| ehehehheeh |
[Mar. 13th, 2005|01:30 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | tyler hilton- where do you go | ] |
yay! owzers so me finger hurts like real bad. i sliced it like it was a tomatoe today at work. like theres this tomatoe slicer thing n i didnt realize the towel was no longer between my finger and the slicer part and i slide that beeyotch across it and yowzers, it wouldnt stop bleeding for like an hour, blood was just oozing out of the little holes in the band aid. quiet disgusting actually. but then came home from wizznork and that was much better. and
YAY! thats were this whole night gets better. but i just wrote everything that happened and erased it, cuz i dont need ta tell the whole world. but just know this. it made my whole night sooo much better and if ya wanna kno just ask ill tell ya! shannon ull hurr all aboot it as soon as i talk to ya gurl! n prolly everyone else cuz im so excited yay!
OPERATION BJ!!!! lol hahahahahha yep gurl thats what it b aboot!
ok well im off to bed cuz i mighty tired i hope me n sammy are goin to church tommarow
~~jizzoulie~~
where do you go?
ill let you know
but dont wait up for me
dont wait up for me
(only parts i kno playing thru my head) |
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| yay |
[Mar. 7th, 2005|11:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | anberlin | ] |
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| wow |
[Mar. 5th, 2005|12:50 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | reutcealum | ] |
hmm...i wish there were words to describe how i feel...but there are none...and its not like a bad feeling or a happy feeling....just in between.....i dunno how to describe this. listening to reut caleaum dont think any of you have heard of them, thats why i like listening to them, there violent but i love it just cuz. i like the beat and sound and none of you know what its like, and i feel special. man i lovemy music. this always happens to me after a amazing concert. i just want more. i want more music, i want more unheard of heros, i want hawthorne heights to play their set to me everynight before i go to sleep. wow ok need to calm this shit down. found my think blue bracelet! yay! omg so list of things i want: a liveWRONG bracelet lol ehehhehe yeah i dont live strong i live wrong lol hahahha go to www.livewrong.com to see what the hell im talking about its the shit and 2) the anberlin cd, im hopefully going to f.y.e tommarow sometime and getting it hopefully they have it cuz that would sooo totally rock my world right now! hahaha wow i realized that i like like EVERYTHING musically wise. like rap hells yeah! lol haha that was ma ghetto-neesssssss lol, some rock ( anyone ready to argue with me that pour some sugar on me isnt the hottest song ever!!!!!), country ( yeah i like country i kno ima loser) and punk i love it all! specially punk/emo/screamo. dont know what the hell my addiction is but i love it all! wow late nights= not good to write livejournals on. i ramble like a biyotch lol hahaha someone told me today how someone was trying to insult someone by writing on a piece of paper bitch and giving it to them....but the spelled bitch wrong lol hahahahaha that was funny lol. ahhh theres cake upstairs!!! n its good too! i had some...but i just brushed my teeth, and thats one thing i hate, eating after i brush my teeth, prolly just cuz im so damn lazy i dont want to brush em again lol. ima lazy ass. and this lazy ass is off to bed. bye ballers n shot callers and players and playa hata's lol. ahahah wow i was gunna say something so stupid it didnt make sense but oh well here it goes, " im outtie like a kid who doesnt have an innie" lol ahhahaha wow, thats where im cut off
~~jizzoulie~~
p.s.-top 5 bands im listening to recently.
1) anberlin
2) reutcealum
3)the plain white tee's
4) unwritten law
and of course the best ever.....
5) HAWTHORNE HEIGHTS...BITCHES IF YOU AINT HEARD THIS SHIT YOUR SOME DEPRIVED SOMETHING lol hahaha |
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| hehehehhe |
[Feb. 21st, 2005|09:44 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nothing its quiet | ] |
ok yay! so for those of you who actually care! GUESS WHAT!!!! I GOT A JOB!! AT SUBWAY!! IMAGINE THAT!!! i went in for my interview today, anddddd..........i start today 11-3, and then work tommarow 3-8 so woot woot! for that! that was one of my major goals! and hell yes!! OH YAY I AM NOW A SANDWHICH ARTIST! kiss these honey bunns!! lol heheh n then after i get off (man so weird to say) me n shannon are still hopefully going to librury to work on hw, shan-hoe 3 isnt too late is it? i hope not! cuz i got a job! i got a job! i got a job! ok im out! ima go prance around somemore! hhehehehehehehehhe! leave a fun one!
~~jizzoulie~~ |
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| :) |
[Feb. 20th, 2005|01:16 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | excited | ] |
| [ | music |
| | get back-ludicrous! | ] |
SO GUESS WHAT.....INTERVIEW TOMMAROW MORNING AT SUBWAY AT 830 IN MORNING!! BUT THATS OK! CUZ ITS AT LEAST AN INTERVIEW AND I REALLY REALLY NEED A JOB! AND IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE AN ARTIST...AND A SANDWHICH ARTIST KINDA QUALIFIES AS THAT RIGHT??? oh n also n e one wanna go to the zoo like in the morning at around like 11 ish till like 1 its free to get in till 12 on mondays and i figured...no school.....why not...what else is there to do? then go watch some animalys!!!! last nite was fun had a nice time. danced a lot but im out now i think im babysitting for me papa. then i wanna go see a movie cuz ive got a pass, anyone up for seeing a movie w/ me?? ok well if ya wanna gimme a call at home if not here then im over karens n u can call there the numbers 440-801-9083...ok im out !! woot woot!
~~jizzoulie~~ |
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| grr..... |
[Feb. 15th, 2005|10:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  romantic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | spice girls-last time lover | ] |
so im sad. and crying and upset. because a silly tv show. call me romantic call me a fool w/e i was blubbering like a baby tonite because of one show i call...one tree hill.....im just so upset with the whole nathan and hallie situation . just i dunno i like to think im a romantic at heart and this situation just tears me apart. i think haley is being soo stupid seriously. the way i see it is, you get one love of your life..thats it..and once you meet them nothing else matters because you have them to help you through everything...your career will change, why would you run off to do a tour that could end in a day and ruin the love of your life forever? if you love music, teach it to others, theres so many other things you can do with that love, stay and play local shops, be with the one you love because in the end thats all that matters was who you loved and how you loved them. it was one of the dumbest things i think she has done ever yet so far. and to not come or call or anything is another dumb move. and another thing i was thinking that made small tears come out opposed to the huge emo ones that were falling while the show was going was, it will be awesome when i can find that guy who will watch my tuesdsay shows with me, but when i cry and blubber like i did tonite will he make fun of me and tell me its not real and doesnt matter because its a show, because i dont want that. i want him to kiss my tears away and hug me and show me that it doesnt matter because what really matters is the love we have for each other right now and not to pay attention because if things were meant to be then it will happen and love will find its way. and thats what i want in a man. i mean theres other things. but thats a big one, i want the one who kiss's and hug's and comforts me, i am an overlysensitive person and i dont want someone who doesnt appreciate that i want someone who instead of making fun of that imbraces it and loves it. gosh im too romantic. wow this took a real unexpected turn and i dunno, im crying and sad and trying to right a journal on how a stupid show affected me so it may end up in the end a little off topic but i like it. maybe someday when im old and have found that love of my life and were getting old together ill say here i made a journal about you when i was only 16 and i already knew i wanted you. and ill show him cuz this stuff on the internet i think lasts forever and if it doesnt oh well. it will remind me of what i want but im off to do french....
~~jizzoulie~~ |
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| hmm.. |
[Feb. 13th, 2005|12:02 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | spice girls | ] |
so monday is v-day. i hate v-day. ive never ever had a valentines date, never. :( and i remember v-day last year. me melissa berks n my mom spent it together and oh man it was crazy soo much fun but we all said to ourselves that this valentines day we would all have a valentines.....and here we are with no one. gosh i hate this holiday. i think tho that it only really gets to you if you expect something of it. and its not that i expect something from it , its just....its nice to dream. but not too much has been new lately. my life seems just to be one continous cycle, with a bunch of disappointments, i feel so numb. like someone please make me feel something other then anger, and hurt, and frustration. like tonite...oh man.....confusion, and frustration with my father. lonnggg story but basically the gist of it was, karen telling my bro n sis she doesnt want them to come over, and telling them that shes looking for a house in virginia now, so im like w/e im not talking to him anymore, and he can miss his opportunity to be our dad, but then i was like...wait he probably doesnt even care...more then less he would probably be happier over this deal. gosh i dunno like i hate him but at the same time, i go over there to escape the frustrations here and i love my dad, i cant deny that, hes my dad. just gosh i dunno. grr. thats frustrating...then my bro n sis frustrate me soooo much. and i just i dunno i cant wait to go to college. yet that whole process scares the SHIT OUTTA ME! like omg. im in the middle of my junior year...sat/act's are coming up...choosing and visiting are comign up...liek when i was a sophmore they were sending me stuff and i was like cool ya kno and i started thinking about it then..but now im like what the hell was i worrying about it then for nothing really happens till junior year...and now im here and im just soo scared..what if i fail horribly on one test and screw up the rest of my life....oh gooshhhhh i need to stop thinking about allll this crap. too much stuff going on in my mind. like tonite i was thinking about all this crap and like the left side of my brain outta nowhere just started to get shooting pains in it i was like WHAT THE HELL!! yay but one good thing is i have a think blue 11/04/08 band its s0ooo awesome im soo happy! im so democratic. i watched these documentarys today on how bush is an idiot and it made me happy lol haha wow ima loser lol haha..sorry everyone....i have a case of loseritis lol hahaha oh well im out to beddy...which reminds me i slept till 2 in the afternoon today! freaking crazy freaking crazy...ive never ever ever slept that long! hahhaha oh yeah which reminds me i freaking got the cutest outfit today....so cute i love it! im wearin it to school monday. i am absolutely in love with my skirt! woot woot! ok well night night you all......leave me some love so i feel loved n ill try n do same for you all on v-day ! ima write a love letter to all my friends w/ livejournal! heehehe but shhh its my surprise to you all!..nighty nighty piece out negros!
~~jizzoulie~~ |
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| heheheheheheh |
[Feb. 13th, 2005|12:00 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | spice girls! | ] |
 Your Sexual Flavor Is VanillaSweet, simple, uncomplicated You go with the flow, and go well with any lover. You're not a prudish lover but an adaptable one. A blank canvas, you're willing to be painted with any kink. As long as it's washed down with some sweet whipped cream. Secret talent: Pole dancing What's Your Sexual Flavor?More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva |
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| oh mann.... |
[Feb. 8th, 2005|05:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sexually frustrated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | spice girls | ] |
oh man... i need some serious help...i could not concentrate at alll!! today! still cant! all i can think of is boys. like all day today my mind has been in the gutter and i dunno why but today it really really hit me soo hard that i just want a guy! not even as a boyfriend at this point. i mean hell that would be sweet i would love a bf, but right now i need just someone to get my sexual frustration out with!!! so heres how my thought process went today...
oh man look at that boy hes hott, oh man that guy on gilmore girls sooo hott i cant wait to see him tonite, omg! OPERATION KEEPSAKE MAN IS SOOO HOTT I COULD JUMP ON HIM! lol ahha the resistance team guys not the one whose married lol ahha the young one who robs people of their future lol. omg he was sooo hott! then omg the guy from marcs is soo hott, omg punk guys are all soo hot , where i proceded just to think of hott hott punkish, my type of punkish, rocker kinda, guitar playing kinda guys, like operation keepsake man, guy from marcs, all the guys from hawthorne heights, joel snell, the lead singer of green day, jake, ruetcaelum guys, the hot guy with the red hair from speech and debate, oh man geez la weez too much sexual frustration here! hey u kno what should next happen!! someone hook me up with someone to get this out with!! preferabbly one of the guys listed above because that would oohhh so make my world!! lol ahha ok but im out just had to get out my biggest frustration of the moment!!
~~jizzoulie~~ |
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| wooty who! |
[Feb. 7th, 2005|11:31 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | someday we'll know- mandy moore | ] |
so we won our game tonite. that was nice. oh yeah just thougth id write on my fantasy for valentines day! tabby n shannon kno it! lol hehehe my wisheroo i hope it comes truuueee lol ahhahah
oh man so our indoor coach, lauren, thought that when i say boo i meant booze, so heres a part of what was going on that didnt sound to good to her i guess lol ehehhe
" so yeah u should def. get me a tutor, and some boo(ze-her perception n e ways)"" lol ahhahah oh man thats great yo lol hahah oww oww my tongue hurts...*A** *. is really hott! and none of you get to know who that is except fora few!! woot woot! lol omg sooo hott lol hahah but im off to bed cuz im lame and dillusional.
~~jizzoulie~~
p.s- low point of my day was being incessently called fat by my sister, after she ate a whole bag of chips, poptarts, liek a box of these fruit twistey thingys, chips and salsa, etc. yeah shes a biznizzle |
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| geez leweez |
[Feb. 6th, 2005|10:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | aggravated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | superbowl/shouting of an asshole | ] |
im going to shoot myself........................theres a asshole upstairs........shouting.....and burping.......and drinking beer after beer after beer.................and being an asshole.........and im going to shoot myself.........hes so fucking stupid......"so hows your car".....fine u bitch what would u expect if i just got it fucking fixed.........."it run ok"........no, mom payed 430 for it but it doesnt run ok......ur ignant...........ok so now ima go do homework...then hopefully i can find a gun to shoot myself with to end this annoying lifestyle of this man coming into her life.........then leaving for a few months......then in again........ |
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| hahah oh man forgot this from yesterday |
[Feb. 6th, 2005|02:34 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | vice city being played upstairs | ] |
Oh man i am a silly kid. i forgot to add this from yesterday. it made me laugh soo hard lol. see none of you except speech and debaters get the pleasure of hearing "joey quotes" real early on sat. mornings so here is one of the funniest ones from yesterday.
"i would be really upset if i couldnt get my balls through the hole." lol hahahhahaha it sounds really perverse and what not but its not at all lol but me n kathy just looked at each other when he said it and started laughing so hard. priceless. the mornings with them, and the things they say.....priceless. im so happy that i am a part of speech and debate, not because of the competition and the skills i am getting on my public speaking (which are a all together fundamental part of y i like it) but the people that i probably wouldnt have talked to that much if it wasnt for speech and debate is what has really made me so happy with it.
lol oh yeah today me n sam went together to church, and she was really looking forward to seeing her boo, but i was hoping he would come to the one we were going too....and we sat right in front of him...GO SAMSTERS! WOOT WOTO oh yeah we also got free donuts! this fat kid is satisfied...
~~jizzoulie~~ |
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| so what if your friends think im crazy i wasnt trying to impress those girls anyway...... |
[Feb. 5th, 2005|11:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | dashboard confessionals of course lol | ] |
yay listening to dashboard confessional. the title is a lyric from hey girl one of their songs and i love it specially that part but expecially this song its soo awesome!!! ok well off to tonite cuz i had a really good day considering...
woke up real early!! actually only like 605 and i was already running late then cuz i was supposed to up at 530 and at school by 630 so yeah short time gettin ready but looked ok. then off to s&d. and drove out there wit me mumma and got appley juice and i felt like i was going to throw up then k-ho calmed me down and weaver hooked it up lol haha me n kathy made little notes of encouragement for each other lol haha that was funny so yeah as the day slowly..and i mean slowly..progressed i got soo much comfier and happier...AND HYPER!! lol hahah i was going crazy. i usually dont enjoy myself that much but i enjoyed myself soo much today, i compared muscles with kathy n joey, played the silent game and came in 2nd cuz silly kaitlen smith wouldnt talk!! lol beehotch! hahhah sarah watts=ghetto boo, ericka bohamen= boo, boo, erik m.= boo to the cube lol hahah that was great! and omg outt of like 100 guys there, and the straight ones of those there were only like 3 hott guys there, but those guys were hott lol specially that red head oww oww lol hahahaha. but yeah that was great then mom made it back in record speed time and districts were over in record speed time so i called noie n we decided we were going to see hide n seek with steve....who was at a basketball game it ended up lol...so me n noie just went lol n instead of boogeyman which is pg-13..yes us pimps got in hide n seek which is r!! lol with our cool cat supersavers lol hhaha yeah were pimps! lol hahah N THAT MOVIE WAS SCARY AND CONFUSING made the brain hurt coming outta it we hadta ask tom what was up with it when we got out lol. yeah then drove around n that was fun oh yeah and coldstone, and ddbr 69!!!! lol and taco bells drive thru..TWICE lol ahhaha that was soooo funny lol ahha yeah n then took noiesters around drivin and made it back to her house right in time-o!! lol haha yeah so that made me in such a happy mood i love hangin out with the hoie cuz we barely get a chance to anymore...BUT SHES DOING TRACK AGAIN THIS YEAR! SO I BE EXCITED! ok lol well i gotta get to bed early sams coming with me to church tommarow! so thats awesome cuz i love it when others come with me and i dont feel like the loser i actuallly am lol so hopefully everything works out in everyones lives specially mine.. i saw 11:11 tonite as soon as i walked in the door it was nice to see that considering...but im off to bed ima leave you all with some dashboard confessional lyrics just cuz i love em and they're (hahah kathy) are playing in the background...
hey girl:
Hey girl, you've got a smart way about you
That makes me
Wish that I was smart enough for you
Hey girl, you've got a fine laugh
And I think that I
Could get used to that
And you're already used to laughing at
Me
So what if your friends think I'm crazy?
Well, I wasn't trying to impress those girls anyway
They're all theory, no action
And where I'm from
We live like it's the latest attraction
Hey girl, you've got a short fuse
And I've got designs on lighting you up
And setting you off
And watching you burn for me
The world lives for the weekend
Well, I'll watch as my weeks bleed right into them
Without a line
To divide
What is their's
And what is
Mine
So what if your friends think I'm crazy?
Well, I wasn't trying to impress those girls anyway
They're all theory, no action
And where I'm from
We live like it's the latest attraction
Go on, go on
Your cruel intentions won't
Solve your problems
Everyone's gotta get
Bottom
Bottomed out in the long run
And those are the times you need love (x3)
~~jizzoulie~~ |
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| heheheh |
[Feb. 5th, 2005|11:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | dashboard confessional | ] |
You Belong in 1966 |
1966
If you scored...
1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!
1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too.
1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all!
1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day.
1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!
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| i like to use the word fuck when im pissed |
[Feb. 2nd, 2005|10:27 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | fed up | ] |
| [ | music |
| | dashboard confessional | ] |
so tonite can be summed up in one word....hell.
came home BY THE BUS. fuck the bus
feel asleep as soon as i got home...MY BROTHER WOKE ME UP...fuck my brother
then went to chucke cheeses...MY SISTER TOLD MY DAD EVERYTHING I SAID BOUT HOWS HE AN ASSHOLE...expecially fuck my sister..she can be such a bitch
went to chucke cheese while i was sick with a headache...BAD IDEA NOTHING EVER STOPS BINGING AND PINGING AND MAKING NOISE....fuck chuck e. cheeses.
my dad make me take care of dalton allllll night...while hes sick and im sick...AND THEY GOT TO PLAY GAMES ALLL NIGHT WHILE I TOOK CARE OF A 3 YEAR OLD ALL NIGHT.( i gave dalton to my dad to take care of while i went to the bathroom...i came outta the stale and he was in the girls bathroom waiting for me cuz my dad told him to go to me...) fuck my dad
almost passed out about 5 times in there...i laid down for a second while dalton was eating his ice cream and i went to get up and couldnt and kinda like fell back down...fuck my body
so yeah i came home like almost crying and ran upstairs and talked with my mom and i feel like crap, like u kno ur sinus's they actually hurt like my face is in pain, and usually this never happens when i get sinus infections my nose just runs and throat hurts and head, and now theres another area added...my face. gosh i hate this. but thanks to my awesome friends who have talked to me or just left me a comment i am feeling better..thank you, u know who you are...wow looking back thats real harsh but if i was to write it again i would do exact same..oh another thing i burned like my entire mouth on a cup of hot chocolate this morning my tongue is killing me! i hate burning my tongue. but yeah crap load of homework to do whil feeling crappy = not a good combination so i better get on that... hope everyone elses night went at least better then mine..oh heres something funny for you all to enjoy. this guys is from A Change of Pace haha isnt that sweet yo!
Angelz1096501 [10:09 PM]: hi me n my friends love your band and we have a big question ......boxers or briefs?
torryacop [10:10 PM]: boxers
torryacop [10:10 PM]: lol
Angelz1096501 [10:10 PM]: lol thanks
hahah that was great ok oh yeah listening to hawthorne heights makes me happy to! woot woot for them...alright for real im out
~~jizzoulie~~
lyrics i need to take to heart:shania twains - up
It’s ’bout as bad as it could be
Seems everybody’s buggin’ me
Like nothing wants to go my way--
Yeah, it just ain’t been my day
Nothin’s comin’ easily
Even my skin is acting weird
I wish that I could grow a beard
Then I could cover up my spots
Not play connect the dots
I just wanna disappear
Up--up--up--
Can only go up from here
Up--up--up--up
Where the clouds gonna clear
Up--up--up--
There’s no way but up from here
Even something as simple as
Forgettin’ to fill up on gas
There ain’t no explanation why--
Things like that can make you cry
Just gotta learn to have a laugh
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah...
When everything is goin’ wrong
Don’t worry, it won’t last for long
Yeah, it’s all gonna come around
Don’t go let it get you down
You gotta keep on holding on
It’s ’bout as bad as it could be
Seems everybody’s buggin’ me
Like nothing want to go my way--
Yeah, it just ain’t been my day
Nothin’s comin’ easily
Oh-- I’m going up
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah... |
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| la la i love my mom |
[Feb. 1st, 2005|08:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sick | ] |
| [ | music |
| | hawthorne heights, of course lol there coming on march 3rd!! | ] |
so me and my mom do have our moments...like this morning....but for the most part i love her the mostest out of anybody alive on this earth. she will always and has always been there. no matter what. the fights the things ive said the things shes said. everything. tonite her car ran outta gas and i had to walk up to the gas station with her even tho im sick, and it was horrible i felt like throwing up like 3 times and got soooo dizzy, but it was ok cuz me n my mom were playing guess that line. and she named all these old good ones and they made me miss watching them with her. so hopefully sometime soon i can sit down with my mom and watch such classics as : ever after, that thing you do, while you were sleeping, my best friends wedding, aladdin, beauty and the beast, the sandlot, and many others. omg such great movies and if you havent seen ANY OF THEM then you better get your butt to the video store and rent it supppperrr deeee dupperrr quick! but yeah i gotta go to jo ann fabrics soon to get mirrors for my ceramic project. but oh on other notes:
~ yay! nicole martin is really nice. like i saw a lot of people talking about her in their journals and then i talked to her ONCE during the day at school and we were reminiscing of our english days together, and then a few days later she leaves me one heck of a nice comment on my journal. so nicole you rock!!
oh yeah today worked out for track that was ok not bad my back is hurting like a mofo but i get a massage later so thats all good! oh yeah and kevin mcclelland called me jizzo today lol ahhahah...one small step for man, one giant step for mankind...lol hahah that made me laugh sooo hard !! woot woot. oh shit im missing gilmore girls and american idol. ok im out piece out
~~jizzoulie~~ |
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| so long time no talk... |
[Jan. 30th, 2005|09:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sleepy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | action news at 10 theme song | ] |
feels like a while since ive wrote in here. ya know what i was just wondering.....how many people actually read this? like i figure u kno my friends that i know do, but like i wonder how many of you read it that dont even tell me. i like it when people tell me they read my journal. it makes me feel somewhat cool i guess like i actually have a life worth reading about. lol i dunno i just wonder. but ok wow done with that......
but guess what everyone!!!
1) my cars in the shop till tuesday getting fixed...woot woot it really needs it too...but bad news...first its gunna cost 400 which i dont have! so that sucks and then two i forgot my book bag and books in the car but my moms letting me stay home like in the morning tommarow till i get it so thats cool i guess...but (dont make fun of me) i kinda actually wanted to go to school!
2) i cleaned my basement! me ! all by myself! and my mom bought me flowers! and we have watermelon at my house! and watermelon reminds me of grams! and i miss grams soo much! so i love watermelon !! and it reminds me of florida! where i will be in less then 2 months HELL YES BITCHES! woot woot
but ok on sadder note yo...
my dad is a HUGE asshole. like humongously huge! fucking idiot! but ok heres why:
1) he told me when i went snowplowing with him he would get me this jeep thing if the ppl gave it to him and it would be my car instead o my piece of crap.. and that hes gunna try n get it by doing work for the ppl. and so he showed up friday to our house in it and i asked him wat was going on whereas this is the response i got, " im keeping it, its mine. im using it for my business (not like youve got a truck and a huge ass van, which your trying to sell cuz u dont need it, and your the only fucking worker of your damn "company" so you dont really need it asshole) im gunna do work for the people and they gave me this, and im keeping it, its mine" yeah well your a fucking liar...like you would buy me a car for my 16th birthday...or how you would let me bring oreo over? never did...yea you promise soo much shit and never EVER keep it! EVER. yeah thanks asshole. and your not even helping mom pay the $400 dollars it takes to get my car fixed! when 1) shes a single mother with 3 kids and you do didlly squat for us and 2) her car needs like $500 worth of fixing and shes not even getting her car fixed and heres another reason why hes an asshole
2) hes ok with karen putting in a transfer to go to virginia. 1) her familys all here, here mom and dad lives like 2 houses down from her, and her whole family lives here. 2) my dads family lives here...everysingle one of em. live in cleveland. yeah and 3) his fucking kids are here! now seriously YOU PUT IN THE TRANSFER! what the hell!!!! im so fucking pissed about this! i dont know what to think of it, is this your trying to pull my dad away from us?? because 1) thats low and i didnt think you would ever do that and 2) what kind of women would pull a father away from his kids and 3) WHY THE HELL WOULD HE GO ALONG WITH IT! obviously were not shit in his life. oh and heres what he told my sister that we could go spend the summer with them FUCK YOU IF YOU MOVE IM NOT MOVING MY FUCKIGN ASS OUTTA CLEVELAND TO GO FUCKING SEE YOU! so ya know what i hope you do... i leave for college in less then 2 years, youve got less then 2 years to spend what little time we already spend together..together...and your gunna move to virginia?? ok im not giving up my time and friends to go visit you just cuz its conveinent to you. im telling you this dad if you move..that will be the end of even the smallest relationship you have with your kids. i wont talk to you on the phone. i dont understand it! why the hell would you do this oh and karens response for putting it in, "well theres 2 reasons...1) it would be better for dalton to live in the warm weather..." yeah she didnt even say the 2nd reason. WELL YA KNOW HES GOING TO NEED TO KNOW HOW TO LIVE IN THE COLD WEATHER TOO AND HELL HE LOVES PLAYING IN THE SNOW! whatever tho i dont care.... im so fed up with him....weekly dinners...over.....visiting on sundays...over...dont expect to see me for a long time till i cool down, or you move, w/e. im done
in other news...me n my mom spent a lot of time together today..that was nice... then went with natalie to look at dresses for hta cocktail dance thing and i have this dress from 2 years ago n its reall hot n i think ima wear that n then krych came over n i showed her it n she really likes it a lot i guess. and i guess me n her are gunna go together so thats cool i guess. and im supposed to go see coach carter with ta shannon n natalie so thatll be sweet i cant wait! but ok im off to bed just had to vent...oh wait another thought
i want a guy. im not sure even if its a wanting of a boyfriend i just want someone to cuddle with and watch tuesday shows with and to wrestle with and to go to the duck pond and walk aroudn with. ... ok im done being depressed on that situation...
night all
~~jizzoulie~~ |
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jizzoulie's journal